Thursday, December 6, 2012

Beautiful insane....in that beautful rain


Well, this year, (and my first semester at school) is coming to a close. Honestly, I cant believe how fast it all went by. I cant believe how much I’ve learned and how much I’ve experienced.

To recap all this, I am going to reminisce the rest of my semester for a moment…

Our trip to MemphisJ

It was so much fun.  The art museum was….i absolutely loved it.  Simply splendid <3

Met so many wonderful strangers that turned about to be great friends.


 

My first friday as a college student was...interesting.
Lets see...the possey consisted of Kayla, like my besssss friend, Alex, my new buuuuuddy,*Pauly Shore voice*, Stephen, a friend of Kayla, and last but not least, me and my crazy self.

We had a blast that night. Just bein plain goofy ha:P

 

A lot of things changed since then, from this story. But it was still a great memory, and I will always cherish it for that.

Then came our speaker that talked of STEM. I swear I hate science and mathematics. Nothing bores me as much. And yet, it is pushed on us more than anything else in school. I hate that. Society tries to shape us into what it wants us to be. This realization just isn’t good enough for me. (This, is particularly what my Philosophy final criticizes.)

I walked into that room not knowing what I want to do with my life. Hell, I walk through my entire life not knowing what I wanna do.
Success. Money. Power. A Future period.
Parental approval. Pride in their eyes. Pride in your own eyes.
All these impending dooms seem to weigh down on your soul until you either choose an occupation out of obligation or out of desperation.
You know that if you pick one thing, you might miss out on another. And if you choose one path, you might be poor forever. So what do you do?
I agree with Mr. Calhoun.
Dont take your gifts for granted. Use what you were blessed with. Do what you love.

According to the University of North Alabama my major is Undecided.
But I'm a writer at heart. Always have been. Always will be. I don't know what I'm doing with this great gift of life that I've been so graciously blessed with living. I'm not worried about becoming successful and becoming president of some glamorous company. I dont know what ten years from now has in store for me. And frankly, I'm okay with that. I dont wanna rush it. I just wanna wake up everyday and have a new adventure. Society has given us a false sense of what happiness and success is.
My father is very successful. Goes to a job where he ranks highly and makes lots of money. But, is he happy? His wallet says yes, but his eyes say no. If he could go back, Im sure he would choose a different career path. One that he enjoyed doing everyday. It would have entailed significantly less money and no chance of being "boss", but he wouldve greeted each morning knowing that he got to fulfill his passion in life.

I think that that is what Mr. Calhoun was trying to say with his bar graphs and small print I couldn't read from the back of the room. Go big or go home. Do what you want with your life. Nothing more. Nothing less.
I hope that I'm not homeless one day thanks to my pursuit of writing. But, alas it is my pursuit of happiness and if I denied myself that, I would be committing a self crime. The pursuit of happiness is everyone's right.
Not the pursuit of money or success, but that of happiness.
So find yours and spend life pursuing it, dear...

Jasmine, Rachel, and I went to my first Blues Concert!!!! It was so much fun!!!! WE even got our picture made with the band! I was having a terrible day, and they made my night so wonderful. I thank them for that dearly.


My next adventure was to the planetarium with Kayla Murphy. My best fraaan everJ

We even got to take a picture of the moon through the telescope.


It came in very handy for my moon report in astronomy ha.

Kayla and I also went to the fairJ It was awesome. I hadn’t been in soo long!

Next on the list…I finally watched The Star Wars trilogy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

 
I had to add this in this blog because it was just one of those unforgettable moments in life……..  I was at the park on Friday. Sitting on the bench. Attempting to write my philosophy paper. I was to the point of scribbling, when I looked up at the fountain. I noticed an old woman standing in front of it. Just gazing into the water. She had a beautiful rose in her hand.
I watched her for a few moments, and as I watched, she tossed the rose into the water. She looked at it for several seconds, her thoughts in a faraway place. She turned and walked away.
It was so beautiful. I began to ponder why she had done this. Remeniscing a loved one? Lost, but not forgotten, birthday? Sadness? Happiness? Just because?
I walked to my car and got my camera out. I came back and took a picture so as to never forget this breathtaking moment.
I watched the rose float for what seemed like eternity.
The water began to overtake its fraility.
It was drowning.
Sinking down.
Still beautiful.
I played God for a moment. Reached in and pulled out the wet beauty.
I held it in my hand thinking I was saving it from a cold death.
Then it hit me.
This cut rose had no other fate but death.
From the moment it sprouted, to the time it bloomed, to the second the elderly lady spotted its elegancy.
Its fate was predetermined.
Death was inevitable, but the way it was to be remembered was not.
It could die, drying out in the hot sun.
Or it could swim for eternity. The inspiration of a story.
I placed my hand back in the water and let its current slide the bittersweet lovely from my palm.
A flower with a great ending.
To live forever in someone's mind.
My mind.
It had written its own destiny..


I hope I leave as a rose. Swimming forever as remembrance in the heart of those I had the grace of knowing. Loving. Impacting in some way.

This was my favorite blog, so I had to add it also….

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


I remember when Momma used to tell me that life is what you make it. It's funny how you dont really understand the wise things your parents say until youre "too smart" to listen and "too old" to want to. Some things must be experienced to be understood, (I believe so anywho.) Wisdom comes from living moreso than from the worn pages of a book. Granted, the idea of a wisdom can come from within its pages, but the true majesty of it will only be understood once youve stepped into the character's shoes. Seen what they have. Breathed the air of their mistakes.
Life truly is what you make it.
Just as our speaker last week told us, Mr Barry. I remember the story of how he got dealt a pretty bad hand, but he still won the pot.
It's all in how you play the cards.
Excuse my language Dr. Brewton, but SHIT HAPPENS.
Dont let it define you or weigh you down. I've done it before. For years. I let my mistakes and other people decide my happiness for me. They took it and ran. Ran like a bat out of hell. They stole part of my youth that I will never get back.
But truth be told, I gave it to them. I LET them take my happiness from me. Because happiness is a God given right. It's your own to do with what you will, and you and only you can determine how its spent. Not another soul.
It was only until recently that this thought truly slapped me in the face. Hard. I mean, yeah, Ive been told stuff like that my entire life, but the realization just kind of sank in one day. And for that, I am ever grateful to my mind, my friends, God, fate, the very stars themselves.
I made a pact with my friend to have fun forever.
Everyday would be a new adventure.
Every moment a beautiful gift from above.
Every stranger I met, a potential angel.
The only stop I would ever make on this lovely road would be death.
And so, everyday I wake up, it isn't "Oh, what do I have to do today?" It is, "What do I get to experience today?" "What memory do I get to make today?"

Every moment holds infinite potential, and even one second wasted in sadness or in regret is gone forever.
I shared all this to say, If you are where I once was, just let go. Let go and live a little. Happiness will find its way back into the wrinkles of your smile. I promise.
Freedom is a political and societal ideal, or whatever the world calls it, but more importantly, its a self given right. You have to free yourself before you can be free in any part of this big blue place.
I'm not saying go be a hobo, although I probably wouldn't mind ha, but what I am saying is that Bob Marley was right.
"Don't worry, be happy." maaaann.. haha
Be silly.
Go for a walk.
Dont be afraid to be alone.
Take a picture of something random, simply because the moment might never come again.
Play in the rain just to get wet.
Laugh at yourself.
Talk to strangers (safely ha.)
Paint with your hands.
Enjoy the little moments, so often forgotten in the hustle and bustle of busy college kids' lives and adults' careers.

Children usually always have it right. Maybe not factually, but morally, yes. They are never afraid to experience. Society hasn't engrained in them what normal is yet, and that, is what makes them so damn beautiful.

Make a bucket list and do every single thing on it.
STARTING RIGHT NOW.
Doesnt have to be extravagant things. They can be tiny events.
But those tiny events will be the things you remember when you are old and successful. Those will be the memories that bring the priceless smiles to your face.

Now go. And live.
Truly live your life away darling.


(Concert at Pegasus with my best bud Kayla Murphy!)
Last weekend's adventure:p


I love that feeling you get when an old friend suddenly shows back up in your life. You become pen pals with one another. And inside, you secretly feel like those letters are the greatest letters ever written in the history of mankind. Haha. It feels like warm cocoa touching your lips after youve made angels in the snow. Feels like the mug warming your fingertips through your gloves. Feels like Christmas morning and a puppy lick.
Feels like a little gift from life.
It happened to me recently. For that, I am so terribly joyous.

His presence actually sort of sparked my new project. I think he was the cause anyway ha:P

My latest endeavor...

I am cutting all the tags out of my clothing. I am gonna stitch all the little squares together, one by one. Then, once I have my canvas of tags completed, I will paint a modern, rather abstract, multicultural face (male or female) on the top of it. At the top or bottom or side or directly over, I will haphazardly write "Labels Are For Cloth."
I think it gives a wonderful message.
I believe that all art, no matter its form, should not only be aesthetically pleasing, but it should make your soul smile as well.
Art with no message has no beauty.
Just like people.
One must have inner beauty. To the core. To be truly beautiful.

As I sit in Rivertown and write this, my mind wanders back to our speaker last week. A very sweet man. Seemed very easy-going and humble. Very smart as well.
I remember him talking about how there wouldnt be enough food to feed the world one day, if things keep going as are.
This worries me.
So very much.
I hope that one day, one someone will have the most brilliant idea ever and just make it all better.
Everything bad in the world.
I know this thought is silly and irrational.
But one can dream, and maybe through that dreaming, little dreams will be accomplished that will achieve the big dream.
Like a jigsaw puzzle.

I hope so anyway.

Neal Edward Lacey was this young man’s name.

One of the greatest people I have ever met in this life.

It was so wonderful to have him back in my life, and I will always remember that it happened in my Freshman fall semester at UNA.

Which is kinda neato haJ

Throughout this hectic semester, I was still able to never lose touch with my favorite sponge<3

Haha I love Spongebob.

He taught me to never be anyone but who I am.

No need to try and impress:P

I also became a Hospice volunteer this semester, which I’m pretty proud of and excited for.

I cut all my hair off too!!!:D I really like it short though, and hopefully a little kid will get a wig by Christmas time. Locks of Love rocksJ

 

 

All in all my fall semester at school has taught me so very much.

I’ve been completely overwhelmed with schoolwork, especially here at the end, but I have truly enjoyed myself.

Ive learned some valuable lessons that have helped shape my character in priceless ways, and no matter where this life may take me tomorrow or even 5 years from now, I will always carry them with me.

 
 

 

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